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User blog:JKGame/Wario vs Rarity: My Little Rap Battles
Oh, dear. A new rap battle already after having two in a row in a single day? Ok, I have an explanation. Scott the Woz vs AntDude was something I just wanted to make last minute so that I wouldn't lose interest in it much later on. I've been planning this battle for a while and I'm too lazy to wait until later to post this. Plus, I'm going to be away next week so there won't be any battles until I come back. As for this battle, Rarity, at least for me, is one of the most underused characters in any rap battle. I've wanted to use her for a long time, but I had some trouble coming up with her opponent. (Coco Chanel is a good opponent, but I wasn't interested in using her, and Donald Trump was another one I liked and did use once before, but now I have other plans for him.) Then I thought of this matchup and loved it. Of course, Wario and Rarity are pretty much opposites, and that's why I like it so much. Also, there's a story here. Just wanted to throw that out there. "Doppelganger of Mario and the main character of both Wario Land and WarioWare, Wario, and generous fashionista and owner of three boutiques, Rarity, rap against each other in the battle of polar opposites with a big business, a knack for finding treasure, and a brother/sister that accompanies them. Which one will prevail, greed or generosity?" Oh, and this battle is obviously a tribute to WarioWare Gold, which looks great by the way. Intro Wario sat on his chair in his house, looking more bored than he ever was. "Wah. I already lost all of my money after hosting that gaming tournament. Maybe I should go to YouTube and see what kind of videos make millions of views so I can earn some easy cash." Wario pulled out his laptop and searched through YouTube for some videos to copy. He then found a channel called ERB and found out that not only was this channel popular for their rap battles, but it also earned millions of dollars for doing so. "WAHAHA! Looks like I've struck gold! This is going to as easy as making games! But first, I need an opponent, since of course, I'm going to be one of the rappers." Out of nowhere, a creature made of multiple animal parts appeared, catching Wario off guard. "WAH! What the heck are you doing here?!" he yelled. "Oh, don't mind me," the creature replied. "They call me Discord. I was bored, so I was just traveling through dimensions. Then I went to this one and heard that you want an opponent for a rap battle" "So what? You have one for me?" Wario asked. "Of course! Otherwise, I wouldn't be here!" said Discord, "I've been getting into rap battles lately and I think I know the one that's just perfect for you!" "Well, what are you waiting for? Take me to this opponent!" Discord then summoned a portal, which sucked Wario in and took him to Discord's world, a magical one at that... __________________________________________________________________________________________ It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. Birds were chirping and everything just seemed right. Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike just happened to be taking a walk. "It sure is a nice day, isn't it, Spike?" Twilight asked. "Of course it is!" Spike responded. "I mean, what could possibly go wrong-" Suddenly, they heard a familiar, bloodcurdling scream in the distance. "Oh no! That sounds like Rarity!" Spike cried. "Let's see what's going on!" said Twilight. They hurried onto the grounds surrounding Carousel Boutique, which seemed to have a giant hole on the roof. There, they saw a large group of ponies watching Rarity rush out of the front door of the boutique, looking terribly distraught. "Rarity!" Twilight yelled out. "What's wrong?" "Oh, what's wrong?!" Rarity answered angrily. "Him!" She then pointed at the door, which burst open to reveal Wario, who was pushing multiple ponies aside as he ran towards Rarity. "Move it!" he yelled, "Wait, THAT'S my opponent?!" "I don't know what you're talking about, you monster!" Rarity snapped. "You're dumber than you look! Let's settle this in a battle of words. A rap battle!" "A rap battle?!" "Of course, idiot! Were you too busy painting your hooves to listen?!" "Oh, it...is...on!" Battle MY LITTLE RAP BATTLES!!! 'Wario:' It's Wario time! (WAHAHAHA!) And I'm about to put the "war" in Wario! Watch as I shoulder bash you and chomp on you like you're a marshmallow! I'm tougher than a Diamond Dog, and like Jimmy T, I got some Smooth Moves This pony just complains about every dirt particle that lands on her little hooves! The only one who loved you was a dragon, while I'm a Magnet attracting all the girls! In fact, you couldn't keep a relationship with a prince or even a boulder! My name literally means "bad", so of course, I'm no Sweetie Belle! You try too hard to be pretty, yet you're still not seen as a bombshell! Not even your charms are enough to convince me that you'll win! Especially since you were only truly liked when you dressed up in a punk outfit! Your puny little clothes shops can't even compare to my company back in Diamond City! You've just entered my Land, chump! So prepare to meet your worst Nightmare, Rarity! (WAHAHAHA!) 'Rarity:' Ew, that verse reeked even worse than your farts! I'm already Suited For Success! Your jaw will drop once I spit some fabulous bars! Because I'm simply glamorous, darling, mastered the Art of the Dress and haute couture The only thing more disturbing than that nose is the awful outfit of this boor! My raps are refined and divine, while yours sound like it was written in an hour Here's a Rule of Rarity For You, go learn to take a shower! I can make people like Capper look dapper, but I don't know what's sadder The fact you always lose your Gold to a pirate or the fact that you spend your days getting fatter! You steal treasure and people's credit, like how Suri once stole my designs Don't even Touch me! I know you've been using your finger to go digging through your gold mine! I wouldn't be shocked if you called up your mindless friends to write all of your lyrics Your garlic breath's worse than those dogs'. Not even Fancy Pants would say you're "charmingly rustic"! 'Wario:' (WAAAH!) For a Hoity Toity drama queen, I thought you'd at least be good with vocabulary! I'm a Sweet and Elite man Becoming Popular, the odds of people liking you are a Rarity! Your one friend outclasses you in magic, and I doubt you're better than Ashley! You've already lost, so better get your couch and some ice cream ready! Wait, you use magic to find gems? Too bad you didn't use it to find some good rhymes! You're not even generous! You're a Manifestation of selfish who does nothing but whine, whine, whine! What else can I say? I'll be done with you faster than my microgames! You'll fall from grace like the time you lost your wings! Have a rotten day! 'Rarity:' Please, the only thing rotten about my day is the teeth of this overweight waste of space! Selling barely-finished games for cash? Why on Equestria am I battling EA? I've Investigated your verses, and they flopped harder than your game on the Wii U! So go get your purple brother to Assist you. It's the only good he'll ever do! You threw away a girl in the trash just to get your dirty hands on some treasure While from Manehattan to Canterlot, I've been changing ponies' lives forever! I’m going to rip your fat body to pieces, so go back to counting your Six Golden Coins, darling! And your rapping? It's absolutely the worst...possible...thing! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT?! YOU DECIDE! MY LITTLE- (The logo then gets shaken as hard as ever) AAAH! AAAH!! MY LITTLE RAP BATTLES!!! Poll Who won? Wario Rarity Epilogue It has been a while since Wario rapped against Rarity. Long story short, it got to the point where even Princess Celestia became involved. Wario was shortly taken back to his world, but not before receiving the footage of the battle that Discord just happened to record. With the help of his friends (As in they did all the work for him.), they edited the footage to include the intro, the outro, and the subtitles and uploaded the battle onto YouTube. Soon, it garnered millions of views and wonderful comments such as: "This makes Epic Fictional Rap Battles look good." "Why are there ads every three seconds?!" "First!" But Wario didn't care in the slightest. He received tons of money and that's all it took to make him happy. Hints for the next battle Eastern Philosophers NigaHiga Comics L4S.png VS.png Cutie Marks.png Opponents needed for these characters 1. Spitfire 2. At least one of the Pillars of Equestria except for Star Swirl. (He's planned.) 3. Thorax (And maybe Pharynx too.) 4. Lord Tirek Category:Blog posts